Memories and New Beginnings
by xTickLish
Summary: ‘If people believe I’m mentally disturbed then she was definitely my single line to sanity No one seems to understand Would it be too late to say I miss you' He Remembers Everything and Forgives Nothing, His Love Lost 4Eva His Soul Black Due To It ITAXOC
1. Prologue

A/N: Mi Third Storii On Buh Mi First Based Solely On Itachi and His Life n Stuff... Coz I'm Kinda Writing His Thoughts I Had To Beef Up My Vocab lol I Imagine Him Speaking Like A Scholar... Odd... But Anyway Ere It Is.

Hpe U Like It

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**Prologue**

His shallow footsteps registered no sound in the stony hallway

His shallow footsteps registered no sound in the stony hallway. His body was somewhat stressed and tired from another mission to the Fire country. Such days like this bored him mentally as nothing was worth thinking about anymore. His existence, what was he alive for? What was he living for anymore?

He reached his room, sighing audibly; he turned the knob, opened it and walked through. Shutting the door firmly behind him, he shed his cloak and walked through to the bathroom to freshen up. Five minutes later, he came out in long black shorts and a loose black t-shirt. He arrived in front of his closet; he opened it and spread apart the clothes on their hangers creating a space. Bringing his hands together and dispelled the genjutsu, "KAI".

A small poof and a second door appeared, it was much smaller than the closet's opening. Opening it, he reached around and pulled out a small black box. He sat cross – legged on the floor of his closet and opened the small container. Inside were three pictures, that he thought defined his life.

The first one depicted a younger version of himself. There was no ponytail or long bangs to cover his eyes, and no deep crossed Konoha forehead protector. His eyes were a deep and dark brown instead of the fiery red people knew him for. He sat on his mother's knee and an innocent childlike smile on his face. _'My innocence and naivety. I knew nothing of the world's truths'._

The second picture showing him much older, his bangs and forehead protector (not cut across) present, however, he was standing with a mini version of himself. Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes were shining with mirth as he looked up at his brother with such respect and such admiration. _'What I left behind'._

The third picture showed him as a chunnin, his arms were folded in a gruff demeanour but contrary to that he was smiling at the person tugging on his arms. She was tugging on his arm playfully, smiling at the camera. Her eyes full of life and such a content happiness that he knew he, himself, could never understand. The grin was daft as well as lopsided but it still made him smile. Her hazel coloured bangs partially covered her eyes. They were unevenly cut. _'She always complained but never got anything done.' _The picture brought back many memories. _'If people believe I'm crazy or somewhat mentally disturbed then she was definitely my single line to sanity'. _She was what could have been. '_But the higher powers of Konoha thought it necessary to rid Konoha of her' _His thoughts turned bitter as remembered his last few days with her. _'Too short, would it be too late to say I miss you? Even though you must be dead by now'. _A look of bitterness contorted his features.

Memories ran through his mind - his childhood, his earlier teenage years and _her._

'_No one seems to understand how I could have gone this far. I have acquired the highest version of my kekkai genkai, something that hasn't been seen for half a century in the history of my family. I have annihilated my 'clan' save for one and am now trying to capture possibly one of Konoha's most promising ninjas in the search to destroy them. And of course, no one understands my decisions, my choices and the life I lead. So maybe it is time I verged into my reasons and why I'm at this point so many years later. This is my life – in my own words.' _

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Ders Mi Lil' Taster.

Review Plzz...!!


	2. Chapter 1

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New Chappie Upp...! I Kinda Liked Writing This Chapter So I Hope You Enjoy Reading It... As Always Please Review If Ya Like... Even If Ya Don't.. D

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_I don't remember much of my early life. In hindsight, one's infant years are never that easy to remember – mostly just a blur of images and empty words. My mother told me plenty of times I was rather a quiet and calm baby though. I never really got into the kind of trouble usual babies got into – like putting things in my mouth and playing with sharp objects. No – I was more the infant to watch others make foolish mistakes. _

_Memories are fickle. They come and go. They suddenly appear in your mind's eye, willing you to remember what was going on but on certain occasions you just can't catch it. Even if you can catch it, you can't always hold it. _

_And then there are those memories that are completely useless but they're the only ones that you can remember. _

_For example, I can remember asking my mother about some shinobi I had recently seen. They were kitted out properly – weapons and all. I could see my older cousins showing them off and it piqued my interest. _

'They are shinobi, Itachi-kun. They fight to protect where we live – our home.'

_To protect? To protect from what? But of course those questions weren't answered either. _

'What an inquisitive young boy. A little genius, if you ask me and he will have the brawn to match those brains'

_My uncle had suddenly proclaimed that at my party my father had held for me – my 4__th__ I think it was. But it didn't matter because I didn't care, for the fact that once those words were said my fate was sealed. _

'The little genius'. 'The Uchiha prodigy'.

_The feeling it gave me I would describe now as annoyance but at such a young age I wouldn't have classified it as that. I became frustrated that everyone assumed I was a perfect child who knew exactly what everything around me meant. But I wasn't. And I didn't. _

_At the age of about five, my father insisted I be placed in the ninja academy. Of course, my father's request turned a few heads but he saw potential in his '_little genius_' that he wanted to exploit. I was at least half the age of most in the academy but that seemed to fuel my father insist more – as if to prove that Uchihas were better than the rest, that a young Uchiha only growing out of their toddler stage could surpass those who were almost preteens. _

_I was taken to tour the academy grounds with my father. On such high-scale visits, you would expect a child to be clutching their parent's leg – shy of the world around them. However, that was never my nature. I'd be damned if I ever hid behind my '_father'. _Of course, those weren't my feelings back then but they are now. _

_We walked through the entire compound – past classes and training facilities, until we finally stopped at a certain training ground. I wanted to explore and begin to recognise my surroundings. However, my father seemed rooted to the spot. I looked up at him in slight confusion. _

"We are waiting for the fourth Hokage. He requested a talk with me and to meet you."

_I stood dumbfounded for a moment. I recalled that the Hokage was the most powerful person in the village, the main protector, loved by all villagers and feared by other nations. He wanted to meet me? But that question wasn't induced by awe, just childish reverence for the man I was _meant _to respect. In my mind's eye, I could see the man in his robes, for some reason, a replica of my father. I was a child, I could not, at the time, fathom any person stronger than my father. Maybe this was a reason why I was not scared or even thrilled to meet the man. _

_Halfway through my thought processes, a door opened on the other side of the building. I turned to the door, but I could still hear my father's voice._

"This is the Hokage. Stand tall and make an excellent impression."

_I did as I was instructed and waited… A man finally stepped out. Billowing red and white robes swept around him in the summer breeze. But through them I could see a deep green jounin vest, similar to the ones I had seen my father wear. In my mind there was an immediate problem. _

_Why should he dress like Father, when he is completely above him?_

_I looked up to his face and was physically stunned. He was different – so much so that it openly surprised me. The mass of unruly blonde hair that ruled his head – so unlike anything I had _ever _seen before. He had vibrant blue eyes, once again, something I had never seen before. His face was straight as he came over to us. My father bowed slightly – it looked reluctant. I bowed also. He smiled at me. It was bright and warm. My father could never mimic such a thing. However, I didn't smile back. _

_He glanced at my father and nodded. _

"Itachi, please follow me."

_His voice was not commanding like my father's or the slightest bit terse. I nodded and followed him over to a secluded training area. Once reaching the destination, I stood and obediently waited for him to start talking. He ran his hands through his hair and then looked me in the eye._

"Itachi, how are you feeling today?"

_To be completely honest, I wasn't sure I completely understood the question. Why would he ask me such a thing? I recalled that shinobi weren't meant to show emotion or feeling, so was this a test? Did he expect me to answer honestly? I could see that he understood my slight confusion because he chuckled slightly._

"Quiet one, eh? Itachi… do you want to become a ninja?"

_Again… another odd question. I am an Uchiha, am I not? The son of the Head of the Clan – there was no 'want' about it. It had been ingrained in me that I was to be a shinobi… an excellent one at that. I blinked before nodding to his question, trying to placate him._

"That's good Itachi-kun, but do you know why you do?"

_The reason…? I searched my mind through every book I had read, every piece of advice I had been given and every diagram I had ever seen; but the answer eluded me. Why do I want to become a shinobi…? _

_At the age of four, I had already gone through a number of tests, answered highly difficult questions for my age and had mentally surpassed my peer group by miles. But in these past few minutes I had never felt as lost and as foolish?... (is foolish the right word?) as I had just then. _

_He looked on at me expectantly waiting for an answer I couldn't give. I was quickly becoming frustrated as my mind whirred… why do I want to become a shinobi? Even then I knew the answer wasn't '_because Father told me to_'. _

'They are shinobi, Itachi-kun. They fight to protect where we live – our home.'

_That sentence ran through me head quickly… was that the answer? I decided it must have been, it was the only thing that sounded maybe remotely plausible to me._

"To protect my home – Konoha."

_He grinned. I blinked. I had only ever seen that expression on the face of my cousin – Shisui. The Hokage seemed utterly pleased with my answer. I could have sighed with relief at that point. _

"You're right Itachi-kun. People become shinobi to protect their home and people that are precious to them."

_I mulled over his statement… to protect people precious to them. A question suddenly burned…_

"Hokage-sama?"

"Hmm?"

"If one is fighting to protect family and 'precious' ones, won't their mind be clouded with emotions… and isn't that bad?"

_He seemed slightly surprised at my question… this kind of thing happened a lot…_

"I'm glad you asked that question, Itachi-kun. Emotion, although it can cloud judgement, it can also be a shinobi's strongest weapon… when channelled in the right way. Fuelled by love or care for someone, a shinobi can go on to do extraordinary things."

_At no point in my life had a read or heard such a thing. I wasn't as much shocked as I was stunned. I had so far learnt that emotion in any form was a bad thing._

_In hindsight, I couldn't help but think that what he said was most likely based on the kind of person he was_. _His belief in personal and interpersonal values was not something my father had held dear, and so it wasn't really anything that was brought to my attention. _

_We talked a bit more. He asked me a few more questions about myself and if I knew anyone at the Academy, as well as my favourite subjects and weapons. We headed back to where my father was standing and we joined him. The Hokage then began to speak with my father about Academy requirements and such… I more or less tuned out._

_My eyes turned to the scenery. The billowing Sakura trees and lone swing that almost looked inviting to my childish mind. I was quickly brought out of musings by a shrill and childish laugh. My head whipped up in the general direction my father and the Hokage were looking in. _

_It was a girl. A small girl. Probably my age, that came running towards us with a laughing lopsided grin on her face. Hazel bangs covered her forehead as a high ponytail bobbed on her head. _

_(She would forever prefer to have that style… even though she looked beautiful with it splayed across her shoulders). _

_Vibrant green eyes were solely set on the Hokage as she ran up to us. _

_She stopped in front of the Hokage, grinning wildly – more grinning. _

'Nato-nii-chan, I've been looking everywhere for you…!"

_I was stunned – once again. Who was the girl? Did she realise who she was talking to? She called him by name, not even a full name… a _nickname._ I blinked in awe at her. _

_By the suffix she used, it seemed that he was her older brother, but I'd read about the Fourth. He didn't have any siblings, and at this point, any known family members. So who was she?_

_The Fourth gave my father an apologetic smile followed by an uneasy rubbing of the back of his neck. My father gave him a disapproving stare._

"Gomen, Uchiha-sama. This won't take long."

_He walked a little way away from us and crouched down to talk to the girl. I watched the display closely. She exclaimed something happily and he smiled and patted her head. He then said something lowly and a bit more sombrely. She blinked in surprise and some confusion before looking directly at me and my father. _

_She then turned back to him and exclaimed something while pointing at us. The Fourth sighed before motioning for her to bring her voice down. She grinned sheepishly – in the same manner he had just before – and nodded at him. _

_I heard my father bristle from where I was standing. I could tell it was out of annoyance and indignation from being made to wait by the Hokage for such a young (and small) person… but then again, would he have done the same thing?_

_Most likely._

_The Fourth and the small girl walked over to us. She was slightly in front of him, with her smile still in place. _

"I'm sorry for the interruption, Uchiha-sama, and so is Akira." _He nudged her slightly._

"Hai. Gomen nasai, Uchiha-sama. I didn't really know who you were… I didn't really realise you were _that _important…"

_I almost blanched. That was most likely the most disrespectful thing my father had ever heard. I, myself, was rather shocked. How could she not know who my father was? It wasn't snobbery but I had always been taught that the Uchiha were respected and feared all over the world. _

_The Fourth looked like he had just stubbed his toe. He had realised quickly how bad that had sounded – everyone had… well, except her obviously. _

"Sorry once again, Uchiha-sama."

_She turned to me and looked me up and down quizzically before smiling warmly and waving slightly. I didn't really know how to respond. I raised my hand slightly to reciprocate the wave. _

"Yondaime-sama, who is this?"

_My father was not impressed._

"Ahh, this is my young friend Akira. Her father is Yoshiro-san."

_That didn't seem to mean anything to my father as his only response was, _

"Hn."

"Akira, why don't you show Itachi-kun more of the Academy grounds while I talk to Uchiha-sama."

_I glanced at her and she nodded in enthusiasm. She walked up to me and grabbed me hand. The amount of times I had been surprised, shocked or stunned increased by one as she pulled me around a corner… and away from my father._

_I found myself excited..._

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o0o0o Finished... For Now

**SPOILERS: **Hu Knew Itachi Was That Innocent N Peaace-luvin... o0 N Sasuke Killed Imm T.T Before That Chapter I Didn't Even Know Itachi _Could_ Die... E's Lik... MUTHAFREAKIN AWESOME!!

Well Anywaii... REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 2

**Hii Agen... Sorry I've Been Away For So Long... The mAjority Of This School Year I've Done Little But Study Seeing As It's My GCSEs - Now Finally Over! Wo0o! So Umm... Here's A Little Something To Wet Your Whistle - So To Speak. As I'm On Holidays, I Hope 2 Be Updating A Lot More Often. Thanks.**

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_Oddly enough I could remember that first play-date of ours vividly. She ran over to the swing and jungle gym that was erected. _

"Soooo", she drawled out playfully, "what do you want to play?"

"I don't know. I don't play."

_She gasped childishly._

"What do ya mean you don't play? That's a... That's a um... bad thing." _I surmised she had settled on the word 'bad' as she couldn't think of anything else._

"Well... I'll teach you a game. It's called King of the Castle."

_She taught me the game quickly, even giving little demonstrations. She smiled all the time, and giggled when I asked questions. I didn't want to make any mistakes but she always repeated that it was fine if I forgot something._

_We began the game. Climbing and running. I know it seems odd but playing the game somehow made me feel freer than I had in a long time. As if I had let go of inhibitions I had been harbouring. But, of course you must think what kind of child had inhibitions. I had always been taught a certain code of conduct when out in public._

_Never yell, shout or draw attention to yourself in unsightly manners._

_Remain polite_

_Stay attentive and always listen_

_The rules were basic but there were some underlying rules that were added to the basics. Degradation of yourself and the Uchiha clan sometimes meant being too polite. Submitting yourself to someone else in politeness was never the Uchiha way. As an Uchiha, you were better than all others, and as an Uchiha you always showed your superiority._

_Uchihas could not been seen as normal. They had to be seen as perfect and of course... better. _

_But here I was yelling and laughing and climbing in a jungle gym with someone my own age. Someone who didn't care about my last name or family. Someone who somehow made me feel like I actually was a child. And as soon as that feeling came it ended._

"Itachi!"

_I remember almost losing my footing on one of the bars. I was off the contraption faster than you could say Uchiha and was by my father's side. I had woken from a dream and was back in reality – a darker reality than I had previously realised._

"Aw... why can't Itachi stay and play longer, Nato-nii?"

"I finished talking with his father so now he has to go home."

"No fair. We were having so much fun." _She turned and smiled at me as if asking me to agree and prove we really were having a good time. It was as if I could feel my father's eyes on me. I didn't say a word. I gave her a bored look before looking away absently. _

"We're going on."

_I was quick to say goodbye to the Hokage who smiled in return. I glanced towards Akira and she was looking blankly at me. As if she didn't know me. She turned and walked away, tugging on the Fourth's hand as she did. _

_As I turned away I felt this gnawing feeling. I look back on it as guilt. The first person my age I had connected to and I'd let her down. It bothered me. _

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**Short, I know. But Please Review. Much Appreciated =]**


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